Reviewer: Draco Signed 
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Date: Oct 03, 2007 1:59 PM
Title: Chapter 1:Red makes the Move
Okay, you have a very nice idea here, but dude, have you ever SEEN that key right there on the right of your keyboard? The ENTER button? You have on huge freaking paragraph. Also, you have to have a space after every end point. Like this! See? No so hard.
Fix up your grammar and spelling a bit, and you can have a really good story here. ;)
